Paint
by Ruffian194
Summary: Alucard, bored out of his mind, finds himself reminiscing on past memories. Happening to stumble upon a recent one of Seras redecorating her room, just what will he do? Well, you'll just have to read to find out. Could turn out to be a AxS. Review please!
1. Chapter 1

_**Paint**_

After being shot at until he was staggering out of Integra's office, getting the cold shoulder from Walter for questioning everything he did, and falling ungracefully through one of Seras' walls after walking into her bathroom (once again, through one of the walls) at the exact moment she had stepped out of the shower and was reaching for her towel, Alucard was, in the least to say, still bored. Picking himself off the ground and grumbling to himself about his Police Girl's shyness and temper, Alucard decided to just go back to his room. Once in his room he'd think of a solution to his problem.

Upon phasing into his room, Alucard plopped down on his throne sulkily. Looking around his room, he found nothing of interest to occupy his time with, so he called upon his shadows. Alucard formed a puppy out of one of his familiars. This entertained him for a while. He had the pup do all kinds of unnatural tricks. He had even squished the shadow pup into a ball and then threw it against a wall just to watch it bounce off the walls. Eventually this too started to bore him and so he cast around for something else to 'play' with. Finding nothing, he opened up his mind to see if his fledgling was in a better mood.

_Seras?_

_What do you want, Master?!_

_Heh. Got you to talk to me. I just- _Seras cut Alucard off, blocking the link between them.

_Damn. She's getting better at blocking me out._

Alucard was now completely out of his mind (as if he wasn't before) with boredom. And having nothing else to do, he drowned himself in old memories. After going through his less painful memories for about an hour, he came across the memory of when Seras had redecorated her room. She had had a lot of fun going to buy a whole ton of stuff to make her room more…homie, as he recalled, was the term she had used. His favorite part in her whole redecorating had been the painting part.

He smirked remembering….

**Flash Back**

"Hey, Maaaster."

"Yes, Police Girl?"

"Wanna help me do somethin'?"

"Depends what this 'somethin' is."

"Oh, come on Master! I know how bored you are. You'll have fun doing this. I promise."

**End Flash Back**

_Well, I definitely did have a good time. Although, I'm not so sure if Police Girl did._

**Back To Flash Back**

Seras had dragged her Master to the store, made him help pick a "pretty pink" and then wait in line for a whole 5 minute instead of allowing him to phase them back home, paint in hand without paying for it. Once home the fun had started after the paint was stirred and poured into pans.

"Okay, Master. You just pick a brush, dip it in the paint and…" Seras demonstrated, putting the paintbrush on the wall and brushing on the paint, "brush it on, to sort of speak."

"Okay, I get what to do Police Girl," Alucard had said quickly as he grabbed a brush, made sure a great glob of paint was on it, and then smacked the brush against the wall. Enjoying the sight of the wet pink paint go flying off in all directions.

**End Flash Back**

Alucard smirked again as he remembered that day. By the time they were finished all the walls and both Alucard and Seras had been covered in the sticky pink paint. When Walter had walked in to see how the room was coming along, he came across a disturbing sight.

**Back To Flash Back**

A pink covered paintbrush flying through the air hit Alucard right in the middle of his chest and then slid slowly down his front. Leaving a long pink stripe over the already existing pink strips from the earlier paint fight.

"Ha! Got you back, Master!" A pink striped Seras had yelled as Walter had walked in to the war zone. She had then turned back to the wall she had previously been working on as Alucard just stood there looking at the paintbrush and then grabbing the paint bucket.

Walter's eyes had practically bugged out of his head as he realized what Alucard was about to do. Too shocked by the scene unfolding before him to do anything, Walter had stood horror stricken as he watched Alucard stalk toward an unsuspecting Seras, his mouth agape as if to say something.

"Master…" was all she got out before…SPAQUISH! A whole bucket of pink paint. Dumped. On Seras' head. By a dying Alucard. Dying…With laughter.

Walter had then closed the door, not wanting to know what occurred next.

Seras had just stood there, stock still, for a while. Alucard continued to laugh, unaware of the changes in Seras and her expressions. Then fed up with Alucard and his laughter, Seras had summed up enough courage to punch him. Right in his face.

Alucard had then shut up and stood there, too surprised to say or do anything. Seras, after feeling sorry for what she did immediately after it happened, her feelings changed back to those of anger and embarrassment. She had then proceeded to yell and throw things at him, as crimson tears trailed down her cheeks. Still too shocked to do anything else, Alucard allowed himself to be forced back to his room.

He had come back to Seras' room sometime later. When she had seen him, she'd turned her back to him, ignoring him. Alucard then walked up behind her and, not liking it one bit, had apologized to her. Seras had been taken off guard by this. She never thought she'd ever hear her master apologize to anyone, let alone her.

For a moment she thought that this wasn't her master, but some impersonator. But after he read her thoughts and saw her confused look he had put on his usual smirk, proving otherwise.

* * *

**Hey, hope you enjoyed and sorry about anything that, I guess, you don't like or that is messed up. I'm trying to do better; this is my first Hellsing FanFic. Besides those poems I did a while back and don't even really like myself lol. Well thanks for reading.**

**p.s. this isn't a one-shot, even though it started out as one. But I don't think it'll be long.**

**:)**


	2. Chapter 2

Immediately after these flashbacks came to him, it was like someone had flipped on a switch, turning the light bulb above Alucard's head on. As the exciting thought came to him and formed in his mind, the smirk upon his face widened, twisting his handsome features grotesquely.

"Hahaha…It's perfect. Plus this place had always been a bit on the 'dark and drab' side," he said as he dissolved into the dark, swarming shadows.

Reforming himself in Seras' room, he looked about for his incompetent fledgling.

_She's never there when you want her._

"WHAT DO YOU WANT MASTER?!"

_But always there when you need her._ Alucard thought as his usual smirk took the place of the frown that had formed.

"Ah…Police Girl, I would like it greatly if you told me the store it was we went to, to get the paint for your room."

* * *

**Well sorry it's so short but I like ending things like that. Lol.**

**I'll try to update soon. I don't like to hurry things because then I move slower. Lol. And I only write when things come to mind, not to mention when I like the idea.**

**:)**


	3. Chapter 3

Seras had been caught off guard (not for the first time) by what her Master was asking from her. She was even more mystified by the satisfied gleam that had gathered in his eyes as he gazed at "Paint Kingdom" when they had arrived.

"Well…Uh…Master?"

"Thank you very much for your help Police Girl. It was very…Helpful…" was all Alucard said. Then, Seras, still feeling very lost, decided to ask another question.

"So…uh Master, what exactly are we AHH! MASTER!"

"Once again, I thank you, Police Girl, for your help. But your assistance is now unneeded," Alucard said as he formed one of his famous 'black holes' and pushed Seras into it, sending her home with a swift move of his arm and a blank expression.

Once the hole had disappeared, Alucard once again let his demented smirk consume his blank face as he chuckled to himself at Seras' expense.

_God, she'll never know how much fun it is to mess with her cute little blonde head. Nor how much use and help she is to me._ Alucard thought as he again chuckled. Then he immediately stopped and went over what he had just thought. His eyes almost popped out of his head when he realized what word he had just used.

_Oh my God. I actually used that word. I used the word 'CUTE'! Wait… I just used _that _phrase too! I can't believe this but… It would seem my little Draculina is rubbing off on me a _little_ more then I'd like._

Shrugging this off to think about it after he had his fun, Alucard proceeded to saunter up to the store and walk through the automatic doors, glaring at them and silently daring them to close on him.

Once inside he remembered where to go and headed straight to the paint section of the store. Standing in front of all the color-coded paint tabs with all the different shades of all the different colors, Alucard felt lost, though, as we all know, he'd never admit it to _anyone_. So he decided to call upon his memories again.

**FLASH BACK**

Seras had headed straight to the paints and searched all the colors. Finally, after what felt like hours to Alucard, but in reality was only about 2 minutes, Seras decided she wanted to paint her room pink. And just to shut her Master's complaining up she had forced him to help pick the perfect shade of a 'pretty pink'.

"Hurry the hell up Police Girl. I'd rather be on my throne bored than here bored. I thought you said I'd have fun doing-"

"Oh, Master! Come here! Please! Oh look. This is the color I want."

"Okay…Police Girl…that's a horrible color. Must you really get that one? Why couldn't you pick something more vampiric? LIKE RED! Oooh… or blACK," as a crazy expression took over his face.

Seras had stood there watching and listening to everything her master said and did. By the time he finished his ranting about why those two colors were "the most appropriate colors" for her room, she had moved her hands to her hips, cocked an eyebrow, sobered her expression, and moved her body into a sassy position, ready to release some sauciness on her Master**.**

"If you would please just SHUT UP for one moment and HELP ME PICK A SHADE OF PINK!"

"God…Please don't make me do this, Police Girl."

Hearing the sound of her nickname just ruined it for Alucard. Seras snapped, not being able to stand it any longer. And this is about all Alucard heard out of all her ranting,

"OH MY GOD MASTER! FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME! MY NAME IS…"

before he blocked his hearing, like any other male would, and just watched her movements deftly with a blank expression.

**END FLASH BACK**

"Ah…Now it comes back to me."

_I just pick the color I want and a shade of that color._

_

* * *

  
_

**Well. There it is.**  
**I promised it'd be up by today! :)**  
**I'm almost done with chapter four so that'll be up soon too, hopefully.**  
**Well. Hope you enjoyed!**  
**Don't forget to review if you haven't already :) ...Please? lol **


	4. Chapter 4

Alucard knew what colors he liked, and so he went in search of his favorite. Once he was in front of his favorite color, he saw his second most favorite right next to it. And being as greedy as we all know Alucard is, he wasn't satisfied with only one of them.

Not knowing what to do next, Alucard turned to the left and saw another of his favorite colors. Once again, being himself, greedy, he had to have that color too. He then remembered to pick the shades of the colors he wanted. After doing so, he decided to get in contact with Seras again.

_Police Girl, what did you do once you picked the shade of color you wanted?_

_Master? MASTER I SWEAR-_

_Do you realize to whom you are talking to, Police Girl?_

…

_Now, if you would be so kind as to answer my question, I might not even discipline you for your behavior toward me today. _

_Though, I wouldn't mind it. _That thought he kept to himself, smirking at what he imagined his fledgling's reaction would have been to it.

_Sorry Master…After you pick the shade and color you ask one of the assistants to _'please'_ get the color for you. Then, as you know, you_ pay for it_ and _then_ leave._

_Thank you immensely, Police Girl. For the third time today._

_You're wel-_ (link blocked)

_Heheh. I just love doing that to her._

"Hello sir. Could I help you?"

Alucard turned to the little old man standing next to him with a genuine smile and the Paint Kingdom logo on his T-shirt right above his nametag that read,

"Bob."

"Yes, sir?"

"Could you, by any chance, get me these three colors in these shades?"

"Yes sir, I can. Be right back with 'em."

"Thank you very much…Bob."

After this quick conversation with Bob, Alucard's smile widened, yet again. And his eyes flashed with menace as he drifted back into his thoughts.

_Bob. What a funny name._

_He arrived right on time. Before I even stated anything. It was almost like Walter. Heh. Humans. So gullible._ Alucard thought after pondering on the speed of the assistance at Paint Kingdom.

"Back with your paints sir," stated Bob when he returned with Alucard's paints, breaking Alucard from his thoughts.

"Thank you, Bob," said Alucard, taking the paints from Bob and holding the heavy cans with ease.

"Good day sir. Come again."

Alucard then turned with a nod of his head and a small smile, before quickly walking away. Once he turned the corner, he did precisely the opposite of what Seras instructed. Just to spite her, he phase back home, disappearing within his shadows, without paying for the paint like she'd told him. Laughing the whole time. And leaving a few dumbstruck people staring at the spot he had just previously occupied in Paint Kingdom, horror stricken.

* * *

**Well here is the forth one. I finally finished it up and got it posted. Sorry it took longer than the others. I was waiting for school to end.**  
**Yay! Schools out for summer!! lol :)**  
**Well tell me what you think. Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

When Alucard phased back into his cell, he stood there grinning like a fool.

"Hehehe. They'll never know that I took the paint. Hehehe and neither will Police Girl."

--Paint--

Back at the store…

"Hey did you see that guy?!"

"What guy?"

"The tall guy. All in red, talked to Bob an' then disappeared in smoke, like some magician, without paying for the paint that Bob got him?"

"Not uh? Poor Bob. They always mess with the old man…"

Silence. Then…

"Wait. Did you say 'without paying'?"

"Uh. Yeah. Why?"

"Sound the alarm! We have a 21-13! A 21-13!"

--Paint--

Alucard continues to chuckle to himself, until he noticed Seras' presence getting closer to his cell.

"Damn her. She's finally figured out how to feel for presences."

**Knock. Knock. Knock.**

"Master? Are you back yet?"

Keeping as silent as a windless night, Alucard crept to the door. Once there he slowly opened it and stuck only his head out. Looking like a sick dog (No, he's not in his hell hound form. It's a figure of speech people. A figure of speech!).

"Yes, Police Girl. I'm back," he said in the sickliest voice he could muster.

"Oh, Master! I'm sorry to disturb you. Do you need anything? Let me see how you're doing," Seras said, trying to push her master back to let herself in.

"No, no, Police Girl. I'm fine. I don't need anything. Thank you though," he said, keeping his masquerade up, but inwardly groaning.

_How could I be so stupid as to not know she'd want to help?!_

Finally finding the smallest wedge she could, Seras dove for it. Slipping past her master, she took off down the stairs. Leaving her master a little stunned back at the door…

_Where's she going? I thought she was trying to- Oh…No she didn't-_

Soon this turned into a contest. A race, to be more specific. For the bag that held the paint. Seras running as if her life depended on it. And Alucard…Well, Alucard just phasing there like he does everywhere. I'm sure you know who won by now.

"Master! Give me the bag! I know you didn't pay for it! We're gonna go back to that store and then you're going to pay for it! WITH YOUR OWN MONEY!"

"Ah. Ah. Ah." Chuckling Alucard continued, "Police Girl, I think you forgot, again, whose master here. And I don't have any money to pay for it anyways."

"Ahhh! Master!"

"Yes, Police Girl," Alucard politely asked, as if they were simply lounging in some parlor 200 years ago, back in the 1800s.

"Give. It. To. ME!"

Just then, Walter chose to come in (again at the worst time he could have possibly chosen). Before him was a tall mass of red and black that was Alucard and a much smaller mass of blue and blonde hair that was Seras. The two vampires had stopped their movements to turn and look at Walter, surprised.

Alucard was still holding the bag above his head with it dangling from the top of the long stretch of his arm and Seras was wrapped around Alucard. Her legs were secured around his middle while one of her arms was stretched up, trying to reach the bag, and the other was curled around Alucard's neck. Alucard's other arm was wound around Seras' middle keeping her up and from getting the bag. Her generous chest (I mean come on! She could share them and still have Cs!), resting on top of his, just under his chin (lol). While they just stood there, staring at Walter, Alucard's arm loosened its hold on Seras, causing her to slowly slide down his front.

Walter had tensed at the sight, before continuing down. Stopping at the table he left Alucard's blood before silently leaving. But not before giving the two vampires one more glance over his shoulder.

When they heard the door to the dungeon close, Alucard began to chuckle again and Seras went back to struggling to get the bag. Slowly a plan formed in her head, though, and she gradually stopped fighting. Alucard looked at her questioningly. At this point Seras pulled her trump card. Using her femininity. Crossing her arms over her chest and pouting with down-cast eyes,

"Fine, Master. If you don't want me to see then I'll just leave."

Seras than went on to trying to get out of Alucard's resumed strong grip on her. But this only proved useless when his grip became even firmer.

"Do you really wish to see, Police Girl?"

Looking up at Alucard with big puppy dog eyes filled with hope, Seras nodded enthusiastically.

Alucard then proceeded to slowly lower his arm. Seras watched it come down, like a cat waiting at a mouse-hole and Alucard looked at Seras in a way almost equivalent to that. As soon as the bag was within grasping range, Seras lunged for it. Alucard's arm then shot back up, as if it were lightning, and they were thrown into a black abyss. The only sound for what felt like eternity, but in reality was only about two seconds, was Seras' scream of rage and fear.

"WHERE ARE WE, MASTER?!"

"Why. We're in your room, Police Girl," Alucard replied, as calm as ever.

"What? Why? How," Seras asked, looking around at her surroundings, before ungracefully falling on her a…butt.

Looking down at his fledgling on the ground Alucard simply said, "Because you were disrespectful so I'm punishing you like I should of a while ago. And we got here because I phased us here."

As her master bent down toward her, Seras scooted back, turning her head away and closing her eyes.

"What are you going to do to me, Master," her voice coming out shakily.

"You'll see," he said as he closed his arms around her shaking body, and lifted her up.

Alucard then walked over to her table, picked up her blood pack, and then went over to her coffin. Dumping Seras into the coffin, he then dropped the blood pack in with her and closed the lid.

"It's time to face your fears, Police Girl," he'd said with a cruel grin as he grabbed a silver chain out of his coat, wrapped it tightly around the handles of Seras' coffin and then locked it.

_I knew I'd need that chain someday._

"What do you mean, Master? Face my fears?"

"I left your blood in there with you. You know. Just in case you get…thirsty."

"NO! MASTER! LET ME OUT! PLEASE MASTER! MMMMMAAAASSSSSTTTTEEEEERRRRRR…"

And with that Alucard phased back to his room, sneering the whole way.

* * *

**Aw. I make Alucard seem so mean at the end don't I? Oh well.  
Well sorry that took a while to get up.  
Hope you enjoyed it anyways. Stay tuned for more : )**  
P**lease review.  
Thanks.**


	6. Chapter 6

-whistling-

"Master! Please let me out! Pl-…Walter?"

The whistling continued to sound in Seras' head.

"WALTER!"

Walter, at this particular time, was down the hall. Seras, finally realizing that her vampiric hearing allowed her to hear his whistling, let her yelling stop while she waited for Walter to get to her room.

As soon as the door opened and she heard Walter's continued whistling enter her room, Seras called to him again,

"Walter! Help me get out of here, please?!"

"Seras? Is that you," was the answer she got back along with the sound of his footsteps coming toward the coffin containing her and the most-feared and tempting blood.

"How'd you get stuck in ther- Ah. I see. Who did this? I suppose it was Master Alucard." After which, Walter added more to himself than to Seras, "Where in bloody Hell did he find a silver chain?"

"I don't know, Walter. Just please get me out of here!"

"Okay. Just a moment…Uh…"

"What? What is it, Walter?"

Frowning to himself, Walter stood back up from his crouched position,

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to get one of the younger men to help me get this off. It seems Alucard knew someone would come to help you sooner or later. Putting his vote on the later, most likely. Hence he locked it to keep them from getting you out for a while."

-Silence- Than…

"_WHAT?!"_

Cringing from the loud pitch that had just come from the 'talking coffin', Walter backed up a few steps to farther the space between himself and the trapped and outraged young Draculina. Than steeling himself again, Walter proceeded to talk again as he walked to the door.

"This will only take a moment, Seras. But I will have to leave you."

"What? Why? Where are you going Walter?"

Walter stopped at the door, his hand turning the knob. "I'm going to find Master Pip. It shall only take a moment."

"No. Wait. Walter. Not Pip. Please not Pip!"

By then Walter had already walked out, the door closed behind him, and was on his way to the inside shooting range. To Pip Bernadette. The French mercenary captain.

--Paint--

**BANG! BANG! BANG!**

"Master Pip."

"Ah. Walter. How may I help you," Pip suavely replied back, slightly turning his head in Walter's direction', but never taking his eye off of the target in front of him.

**BANG!**

"Ah. Well. I'm the best shooter out of my men, but still, there's no way in Hell I'll ever be able to hit the mark every time like that pretty little vampire," Pip sighed before turning all the way around to look straight at Walter.

"Well, actually that's what I'm here to talk to you about."

Raising an eyebrow at Walter, Pip asked, _quite_ intelligently might I add, "You came to talk about how my aim will never be as good as the girl's? Because if that's so-"

Walter quickly interrupted Pip, chuckling to himself. "No. No. No. Not at all."

"So…Than, you came here to talk about my…" Pip paused, searching for the right word, "attraction to her?"

-chuckling-

Pip was now lost in confusion, and it was plainly shown on his face.

"No, Pip. I came here to ask you to help me help Seras."

This time it was Pip's turn to chuckle. If a little uncomfortably, because of the previous conversation.

"What kind of trouble did that girl get herself into this time?"

Smiling a bit, Walter answered.

"She's stuck in her coffin. With a silver chain around the bars, thus barring _her_ exit."

Pip just started at Walter for a moment, the smile on his face growing wider and wider with every second that passed, before he burst out laughing. Earning himself and Walter questioning glances from the other occupants of the range. This also, made Walter's smile widen a bit more.

After a few moments, Pip controlled his laughter to only quiet chuckling, allowing himself to speak once again.

"Okay. Sure. I'll help. Just lead me to the 'damsel in distress' and I'll be her 'knight in shining armor'."

_I never thought in a million years that I'd need to help that girl out of a knot. Let alone one like this. Though I've hoped for a chance like this. Maybe I can convince Walter, the old bastard, to leave the room. Leaving me and that sexy little kitten to ourselves…_

_See what happens if you touch my Police Girl in _any_ inappropriate way. I have no bounds restricting me from tearing _you_ to pieces._

Pip jumped at the sound of Seras' master's velvety-smooth voice growl a response to his thoughts. He could still 'hear' a low growl in his mind. As well as feel the presence leave his mind, quite painfully, making Pip grind his teeth and leaving him with a lingering headache.

"Damn. Overprotective much," he mumbled to himself, receiving an odd look from Walter. Shaking his head at the older man, Pip continued to follow him.

--Paint--

When Seras heard the door open and the sound of two pairs of footsteps, she audibly groaned, making Pip chuckle.

"What is it Kitten? Do you not want me, your 'knight in shining armor', to rescue you?"

"I'd as soon want a pig to help me. Walter! Why couldn't you have gotten someone else," Seras said in a whiney voice.

--Paint--

After a few minutes of loud banging, they were able to open the coffin. As soon as it opened enough for Seras to fit through, she was out, grabbing Pip by the arm and running straight for the door as quickly as she could while trying not to drag him.

"Well. If I knew it'd be this easy I would've-"

"Oh, shut up, Pip. That isn't why I grabbed you, you perv."

"Where are you going, Seras," Walter called after them, down the hallway.

"Paint Kingdom!" was the answer he got back.

* * *

**I told you I'd have it up soon. Okay. Well I tried.**  
**So here you go I hope you enjoyed it. Make sure to review.**

**: )**

**This one should be coming to an end soon.**  
**Stay tuned for more though!**  
**Message me if you want, for whatever reason. Fine by me. : )**

**Mari, yes im sry bt I dd steal tht "--Paint--" thin from ur story lol. tho as u kno urs says sumthin else. : )**  
**I jus needd sumthin 2 pt ther n thts al i culd thnk of. so 1ce again...im sry.../hangs hed in shame/ lol**


	7. Chapter 7

Integra did have one past time, much to everyone's surprise. That past time was cars. She loved to drive cars, though no one knew. She loved the feel of them, the rush you get from speeding down deserted country roads. Making her home even more comfortable to her, thanks to the fact that it was situated in the country because of its great size. Not to mention the secrecy.

She had just got back from one such drives and was looking at the new car she'd tried out today, and loved, from the giant window in her office. Admiring the sleek beauty of the midnight blue marvel just sitting there, tempting her to take it for another spin, Integra never expected to see two figures jump into it and take off at top speed.

"WHAT THE FA-"

"Sir Integra, Miss Victoria and Master Pip are in need of a car-"

"No SHIT! They just jumped into the new one and took off with it!"

"…Uh…" _Shit…Damn it, Seras. Did you have to take that one? Just hope Pip doesn't crash it or Integra will be sure to kill you both…herself too._

--Paint--

Seras had run straight through the huge doors of the great house's entrance, Pip in tow. But upon getting outside she'd stopped, making Pip have to practically skid on his feet to stop from crashing into her, knocking them both to the floor. Her actions told him that right now wouldn't be the greatest time for his 'perviness', and then on top of that, he didn't want to provoke her master into tapping into his life force.

The reason behind Seras' hesitance was the fact that she had no clue as to what to do once she was outside. Just that she'd probably need Pip and she had to get to Paint Kingdom. And quick.

"What's 'Paint Kingdom'?"

Seras just stared at Pip as if he was the dullest person she knew.

"It's a paint shop. You know. Where they sell paint?"

"Oh…Why are we going there? And why are we just standing here? I could drive us."

"Really? That'd be great! Lets go then!"

As soon as that was out of her mouth, Pip turned around and ran to the first and only car he saw. Seras right behind him. Both unbeknownst of the consequences that would come of it.

Not even five minutes later, they were already a quarter of the way to Paint Kingdom. And though Pip was driving, he was scared shitless at the speed they were moving, but Seras wouldn't let him slow down and he wouldn't do it because in doing so he'd ruin her fun.

Seras, sitting right next to Pip, was smiling and laughing, enjoying the rush she was getting. Every now and then she'd tell Pip to go faster and giggle more when he did.

_Thank GOD there really aren't that many cars on these roads. I'm afraid what Seras would have me- _just as Pip was about to finish his thought a car came up in front of them from out of nowhere.

"Speed up, Pip! Speed up!"

"I'm speeding! I'm right on his fucking ass!"

"I know! Splendid! Give me the wheel."

Seras leaned over, taking control of the steering wheel, and swerving madly right behind the car in front. Making the other car try to get away by swerving in the opposite direction then them. Her smiles and laughter just reminded Pip of Alucard the whole time, which just scared him even more.

He pressed himself deep into his seat, as far away from her as he could. Seras turned to look at him with a devilish smirk on her face as the car in front of them went flying into the tall grass to the side of the road, in an attempt to get away from the crazed driver behind them.

_God! She's _just_ like her fucking master! It's scary as Hell! And what's worst? It's fucking hott!_

A few minutes latter…

Seras was getting out of the car as calm as ever. While Pip, eyes wide with horror and shock, was trying his hardest not to fall out and thank God for him being alive and well and giving him solid ground to walk on again.

"I'm driving on the way back."

Pip's eyes widened even more as he stared down at the petite vampiress standing before him.

"Wh-What?!"

"Yep. I'm gonna drive back home."

"Bu-bu-bu-but-"

Seras had already started walking forward, leaving Pip behind to babble to himself. Practically running to catch up, Pip shut his mouth and stayed right behind and to the right of Seras as they walked up to…

"Paint Kingdom."

--Paint--

Back home…

"HAHA-HAHA-HAH!"

"Ah-hem"

"Who the-" started Alucard as he whipped around. "Oh. Hello, Walter…?"

"Good evening Alucard," Walter replied as he set Alucard's blood on the tarp-covered table in front of the tarp-covered throne in the middle of the room. "May I inquire as to what it is you're doing?"

"No."

"Then. May I inquire as to-"

"Stop beating around the bush and trying to act civilized, Walter, and just get to the damn point."

"Fine. Does Integra know what you're doing? And is it something you shouldn't be doing."

"No, Integra doesn't know," said Alucard, answering the first question, before he put on his Cheshire grin to answer the second question. "And I've never done this before and none of my other masters have ever told me I couldn't do it. Therefore it's unknown to me whether or not I'm allowed to do this or not."

"Very well then."

"Wait. Walter."

Turning slowly, Walter asked, "Yes?"

"Could you refrain from mentioning anything unusual about my cell to Integra. At least 'til I'm done. I would absolutely hate it if she stopped me before I finished it," Alucard said with another one of his devilish grins.

"Just this once, Alucard."

"Oh come on old…buddy. You wouldn't want word of what you did to me when you were fourteen getting out, now do you?"

"What are you talkin-…You wouldn't," Walter countered back, glaring daggers at Alucard's nonchalantly turned back.

With a smile over his shoulder, Alucard called back, "Oh. What fun times those were. Weren't they? Nice times to be shared with others. Our…happy moments."

"Oh really?"

"Yes really. Maybe when I'm done here, I'll tell Inte-"

"Would you really want Seras to know about that? Sooner or later she'd hear something about it."

-Silence-

Taking advantage of Alucard's silence, Walter continued, "And then she'll come to you. Asking whether the 'rumors' were true or not."

"…GET OUT!"

"No need to yell-"

"_NOW!"_

"Very well than. Good evening…Alucard…" and with that, Walter left. Leaving Alucard mumbling to himself.

"Thinks he can just black mail me like that…something something something…I'll show him…something something…maybe I'll just send him some more 'dreams' and images…something something something something."

Than the 'light bulb above his head' went on. _**Ding!**_

_That's it! Brilliant!_

Than, a moment later…

_Too bad it's not an idea that'll help me get back at Walter. But that can wait for another time._

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**Well here it is. I told you I'd have it up soon. Hope you enjoyed it. I almost added it to the 6th chapter instead of making it a whole other chapter.**

**: )**

**Review please! Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry you guys, 'bout me taking forever to update this and add a chappy. But anyways…YOU GUYS READY TO FINE OUT WHAT ALUCARD WAS HA-HAHING ABOUT??

_GREAT!_

Oh and I thank all of you who read this fic and most of all those who review. I try to p.m. you after I read you reviews to personally thank you. But I guess I've started doing it this way too...

Haissan- I'd like to thank you for your review of this chapter. I was going to thank you here but in the next chapter instead. What I'm mostly thanking you for is your tip. I've made the corrections so everything flows better. Thanks. : )

MegFallow- Thanks for the funny review. I'll see what I can do to get maybe a little SWAT team action. But, I warn you. There are no guarantees. But there is a definite maybe. I guess we'll both have to just wait to see. : ) /Alucard smirk/ lol.

_P.S.- Don't forget to go on my page and read my other stories! Please? /pout/ OH! But you don't have to read the poems. I personally don't like them thus the reason I don't blame you if you don't either. And also why I might delete them. /shrug/_

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--Paint--

Turning back to what he had _so rudely_ been interrupted from, Alucard started to proceed carrying out the "brilliant" idea he'd thought of.

Remembering what it was Seras had done with the paint upon reaching her room that previous time they'd 'painted' her room. No. Of course not! They'd never do that! They'd never have the most vampiric, insanely fast-paced, and violent paint fight the world's ever seen…Alucard, once again, smirked at the memory of that one bonding time they'd had, before he popped the lid off the first bucket of paint and poured its opulent yellowness into a paint pan.

Despondently looking at the paint brushes and rollers laying neatly nearby, Alucard drooped a little bit, wishing he had a certain someone there to help him. And most certainly make this whole experience much more gratifying. But of course she wasn't there…literally. At all. He couldn't even feel her presence within the manor.

_Where is she? God, I hope she didn't get herself into more troub-_

Stopping mid-thought, he silently asked himself the reason behind his sudden and actual worry for her. Seriously, she didn't constantly need his supervision or protection. She was a strong, if innocent, vampiress in herself. But to satisfy the continual nagging at the back of his mind Alucard decided it was best to just get in contact with her. Therefore, killing two birds with one stone. One, he'd know she was all right. And two, he wouldn't have to go through the pain of having his own familiars mutiny in on him.

_Police Girl?_

_Master?!_

_Yes, Police Gir-_

_What are you doing? Did you use those paints yet? Have you opened them?_

Chuckling both mentally and outwardly, Alucard responded.

_Now, now, Police Girl. Shouldn't I be the one asking the questions? Me being the master here, and you the servant. I thought it went that way?_

_Yes. Of course, Master. Forgive me._

_Of course, Seras. Well…That is if you tell me where you are. It would seem you left the manor without even notifying your poor Master down here._

…_I'm at…_-almost inaudibly- _paintkingdom._

_Now Police Girl. Is it very wise to try to hide things from me? _Alucard, once again, smirked at his own sarcasm.

_No. Of course not, Master…_

Alucard could practically 'hear' the half-disheartened willingness in her thoughts.

_How 'bout we start over, Police Girl? May I be so bold as to ask where you are?_

…_Yes. I'm at Paint Kingdom…_

_Who's with you, Police Girl?_

_N-no one, Master._

_Police Girl…_

A sigh was 'heard' coming from her part.

…_Pips with me._

Growling to himself so she couldn't hear him, Alucard glared holes into the walls before answering Seras back.

_And why would you be with the despicable Frenchman at that store, Police Girl? Painting your room again? Or his?_

Seras couldn't help but flinch at the malice she could almost 'see' drip off his words, causing Pip to give her a questioning glance. Thinking her master mad at her, she thought it was just better to tell him the truth.

_Uh…well I'm here to try to stop the angry mob of people, who are also here, from going back to the Hellsing Manor to hunt you down and get those paints back. Most of them were especially mad after they heard 'bout how you trick some old guy named Bob or somethin' to get the paints for you before 'poofing away in smoke like a magician' as they put it. They somehow managed to track you down… And well…as for Pip…I knew I was gonna need him sometime during this. So I put him to use by having him drive me here._

…_Oh. Well then. Okay._

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I know it's not much but…what do you want from me really? I'm just starting school after having a wonderful summer in which I have started this story. I swear I'll try to keep updating fairly quickly but there are still no guarantees and this story should only be a few more chapters long anyway. : )

Don't forget to _**REVIEW!**_

That's right. Go ahead and _**CLICK THE DAMN BUTTON **_and review. : ) lol

But really. Please review. Thanx!


	9. Chapter 9

ShadowChild Of Death- I wanted to thank you for your review. But mostly I wanted to thank you for your bluntness. The utter demandedness of the review was like someone snapping their fingers in my face while I was in a trace. Not quite a slap in the face, but enough to wake me up. I've been neglecting _Paint_, but your review made me want to continue it. So, thanks again, and I'm sure my other readers are appreciative too.

P.S.- In case you haven't noticed, I did indeed officially delete those poems. They were crap anyways. But me deleting those doesn't mean I don't want you to read my other stuff. No, that would be a lie. Because the truth is…I love you guys. Lol. Naw, I just want you to read, enjoy, and review my sorry pieces of fiction. Lol.

_P.S.S.- Okay. So I lied when I said I didn't love you guys. Of course I do. Just not it that creepy 'I don't know you but _I loooooove you anyways_' kinda way. Ew. Gross. Pedophile-ish. And I was lying again when I said my stories were sorry. They're not really. They're like this one. Crack Fics. Well not the Tamora Pierce one. Though that one will have funnies in it. Lol. Anyways…_**CONTINUE ON TO THE STORY!**

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With savage force, Alucard screwed the previously unused roller onto a broomstick. Glaring at the paint pan without seeing it, he rammed the pure whiteness of the roller into the all-consuming yellowness inhabiting it. Stripping the roller of its white innocence and deluding its color forever more, muttering Romanian curses all the while.

Looking around, he slammed his head into his palm, letting out a low growl. Earlier, he'd been so caught up in his idea he hadn't thought out his color scheme. Or rather, which wall he would color what. And out of the three colors he'd chosen, the dripping, wet yellowness on the deflowered roller before him was the only one that was a bit out of place. It reminded him of his usual outfit; red, black, red, black, red. And then, BAM! Yellow! From his shades.

The smirk that had form whilst he thought of his attire dropped back into a frown when he came back to his current problem. Picking his head up and looking at his surroundings once more, he let out a long, loud sigh, turning to his only left over resource for an opinion. He refused to ask _Walter_ for his two cents on the matter. And always having others there to do it for her, he knew Integra would be useless in his predicament since she never had to do something like this in her whole life.

_Damn. Why does everything have to be so fucking hard? Nothing can ever be easy for me, can it? No, of course not. That would just be making things _too_ fucking easy!_

Closing his eyes frustratedly and releasing yet another sigh, Alucard barley concentrated.

…_Police Girl?_

…_Master?_

Seras' reply was a bit delayed and had a sort of questioningness to it. Her master's 'voice' had sounded strange. Having an odd lilt to it.

_Would it be terrible of your dear master to ask you for help on something?_

Seras' eyes practically bugged out of her head. Making her look something akin to one of those cartoons with the wolf who sees what he would consider 'one hott mama', except her look was more one of shock instead. Pip, seeing her seemingly random reaction, sent her another questioning glance.

_Y-You want m-me to h-help y- _Shaking her head as if to clear it, Seras started over. _What do you need my help with, Master?_

_Good. Well, you see, I'm at a little bit of a loss. If you had four black walls and three different colors, which would you paint yellow?_

Furrowing her eyebrows in a questioning manner, Seras replied likewise.

…_The ceiling?_

_Thank you, Police Girl. Your help is much appreciated._

…_No problem, Master._

After receiving Seras' replay, her master shut the 'curtain' between them, leaving her still confused.

"-but I did your mom! Haha-ha. Ha. Ha? Humph. Tough crowd huh?"

Coming back to reality, Seras' ears were assaulted with the ending of Pip's latest pathetic excuse of a jive. He stood there looking awkward, openly biting the inside of his cheek with one eyebrow slightly cocked and lightly scratching the skin above the other, looking away from the group in front of them. Then noticing that Seras had come back from her own little world, he turned his head down and to the side as to look at her, raising both eyebrows now.

Looking up at him and then back out at the crowd, Seras noticed how quiet they'd gotten. Once again furrowing her eyebrows in a confused fashion. It was so quiet, it reminded her of those old cartoons she would watch when everything was so silent that all you would hear was a coyote wail in the background. Or, as in this case, crickets chirp.

Looking up at Pip in the same way he'd done, just in the opposite fashion, her head tilted _up_ and to the side in his direction, Seras asked him very slowly and quietly, so as not to disturb the mob into a crazed frenzy, "What's been going on? What'd you do?"

"What'd _I_ do? What ever do you mean? All _I've_ been doing is telling jokes so as to distract these crazy asses," Pip said, his eye gone wide in an affronted expression.

"Well they sure as hell aren't _laughing_, Pip."

Glancing back at the assembled crowd, Pip sighed.

"I've noticed…"

"Humph."

Silence fell over the two as well. Pip trying to come up with other jokes to try on the swarm, and the swarm glaring menacingly back at the two. Seras was pondering her master's question when WHAM! It hit her.

"DAMNIT!"

Pip whipped his head around to stare at Seras, who was fuming and had face palmed herself, very much like her master had not five minutes before.

"We have to leave. Now."

"What happened? And y-you just cursed!"

"No shit I just bloody cursed! God! I _am_ a fucking VAM-" Seras rant was interrupted by a woman's voice at the back of the mass of people.

"Watch your language, young lady! There're children about and you should _never_ use the Lord's name in vain!"

This just caused another uproar from the raging crowd. Igniting the already sparked anger into a wild fire. Seras, though, just rolled her eyes for all to see, showing that she'd stop caring in what _He_ thought of her. She was a vampire after all. Doomed to Hell no matter how you looked at it, along with the rest of the people assembled there. Plus, she wasn't just _any_ vampire, but a _DRACULINA_. A direct childe of fucking _DRACULA!_ The devil incarnate.

Yeah. That really sows hope in the soul. Oh wait! She didn't have one of those either, now. If she was lucky she _might_ end up in Purgatory. Maybe even Limbo. _Maybe. _But to get into Limbo she'd have to be like a direct descendent of _JESUS!_ _Now_ how was she supposed to get to Limbo? Yeah. From what she knew, she'd already committed one of the biggest sins you could do.

So, still seething from the anger that that one random woman had planted in her, Seras wondered why the world always had to find her sore spots and nit pick at them. She'd already beaten herself up about that topic and _these_ people had to go and do it again. Why couldn't anything be easy for her?

"Pip. Lets. Go. Now."

"We can't just _leave_. If we did that they'd fucking attack us. And I'm sorry but…I'm not a vampire with superhuman reflexes and speed and shit."

"Use one of your stupid jokes to distract them," Seras said through clenched teeth, rolling her eyes.

"They're not stupid…" Pip replied back, pouting.

To this, all he got back was a direct look from Seras and a more penetrating glare from the mob.

"Alright, alright. So they are a little bland, but look. Here's one!"

Seras started to slightly turn, getting ready to make a dash for it as soon as Pip had completed his diversion.

"Why'd the tiny vampiress run from the angry mob?"

Pip's statement was followed by the sound of those crickets in the background, chirping again while the multitude just continued to glare at him.

"…To save her sorry ass master, who doesn't deserve such a good fledgling. Hehe-he-he. Look something shinny and distracting!"

With that Pip looked wild-wide-eyed out behind the crowd and pointed. Everyone in the throng quickly turned and looked. Pip, acting fast, grabbed Seras up in his arms and took off before she could process what he'd done. Once it got through her head, and his, they looked at each other and, Scooby Doo and Shaggy style, switched places. Running as fast as she could, Seras got them to Integra's car, threw herself and Pip in, and took off at top speed back to the Hellsing Manor.

While Seras and Pip were making their escape, one child had turned around to see them. Pointing at them, he yelled in the typical manner a small child would use when ratting out an older sibling or cousin, "Look Mommy! They're running away!"

Once again, a loud uproar exploded from the mob and many jumped quickly into their vans, trucks, and cars to follow after the exotically expensive speeding blue sports car.

--Paint--

Back in Alucard's cell…

After manually painting his ceiling and having paint fall on his face and into his eyes from looking up to see what he was doing, Alucard had given up and now had his shadows doing it for him while he lazed on his throne, picking yellow paint out of the bits of hair he could reach and see. Growling with the effort, he once again mumbled Romanian curses to himself, damning himself for not remembering how this same exact thing had happened during his paint fight with Seras. Falling back into his memories while picking at his hair, Alucard found himself remembering that same day. Except after the paint episode this time.

_Alucard was seated on the floor, glaring at the wall while Seras, seated in a chair behind him, combed through his messy midnight hair with a brush and her fingers. His hair didn't even resemble hair anymore. After the paint fight and his apology incident, Alucard had retreated once more to his room while Seras took a long hot shower._

_It had been easy for him to fix his clothes. All he had to do was form new ones, and anyways, it wasn't like he'd wore his whole outfit while 'painting'. No. His attire had consisted only of his white dress shirt, black trousers, and boots. Not to mention his ever-present gloves. But his hair was a totally different matter. You'd think it'd be easy to clean it of the paint, it being something akin to like controlled shadow atop his head that he rarely took the time to actually control. But no, it was more like regular hair when it came to the paint._

_So, when Seras had returned to her room, free of all paint and fully dressed in short girl boxers and a t-shirt she slept in, Alucard reluctantly made his way to her room. He'd stood outside her door for a little while, slumped over and staring at the floor beneath him. Eventually though, he'd walked through it and into her room, to find her brushing her dripping hair._

"_Police Girl."_

_Seras had jumped a little when he'd made his presence known to her. But when she turned around she had on her how-can-I-help-you-Master? smile. Not seductive or anything of the kind, just kind. Still dressed in his dress shirt, trousers, and boots (cleaned now), Alucard looked back down at his feet brattily._

"_Do you need something, Master?"_

"_Yes…"_

_Seras' smile had somewhat fallen into a confused frown while an eyebrow had risen._

"…_Wha-"_

"_-Could you help me…get the paint out of my…hair?"_

_Seras' smile quickly returned as she giggled a little before answering her seemingly all-knowing master's question._

"_Sure, Master. Come over here."_

_And that's how he'd found himself on the floor in front of _his fledgling_ while she combed through his hair. Everytime Seras encountered a tangle in his hair, which was often, he'd wince as his head was tugged at. And everytime this happened, Seras would quietly apologize profusely._

_Eventually though, she'd gotten his hair as untangled as it could be with paint in it. Once there she started to pull the pieces of paint out, which was still a bit painful to Alucard._

_When this had Seras frustrated to the point of exploding, she stopped. Putting the brush down on the table and rubbing her eyes, Seras leaned back in her chair and sighed. Trying not to disturb her as much as possible, Alucard quietly asked her if she was done while turning his head to the side to look at her. Automatically she replied, "No."_

"_Why'd you stop then," Alucard had asked, while turning completely around._

"_Because I'm tired and frustrated and this is just gonna keep hurting you unless…"_

"_Unless what," he'd asked skeptically, raising one of his eyebrows._

"_If you took a hot shower. That would make everything _so _much easier. Or if we did this in the tub where I could sit on the toilet, you on the tub's floor, and I could use that shower-head-hose thingy."_

_Alucard had just sat there for a bit, starting at Seras unblinkingly while she sat in her chair rubbing her face and yawning. Rubbing her face with both hands and then sliding them down until her fingers only covered her mouth, Seras stared back at her master. A little perturbed, she cocked an eyebrow too and yawned again, closing her eyes until the yawn passed._

_Alucard had just watched, and when her yawn had finished he'd answered._

"_Fine. Lets do that then."_

_Nodding her head, Seras had stood up and headed toward the bathroom while Alucard followed. Seras opened the door to the bathroom and walked in, and then waited for Alucard to enter. Once inside, he'd looked at the tub and then sighed. Tugging his shirt and boots off, he climbed in and sat down again, staring at the tiled wall directly in front of his face._

_Seras sat down on the toilet and moved her shampoo and conditioner closer to her. Leaning over her master's head, she reached for the water dial thing._

"_It's sorta cold at first, Master."_

_Then the water turned on and splashed him with the freezing cold water that quickly turned warmer. Once it was hot enough that he could feel it comfortably, Seras moved the hose over his head while rubbing the shampoo through his hair._

_He felt so relaxed that a low rumble was emitted from his chest. Seras barley took notice as she methodically washed his hair. When she was done she turned the water off and started to brush through his hair. As he wiped his face free of water, he noticed how the brush didn't snag and catch in his hair or pull at his sensitive scalp anymore. When his pampering came to a close, Seras took a towel and patted his hair as dry as she could before standing up._

_Noticing the lack of movement on his head, Alucard looked over his white shoulder at Seras, who just nodded her head. Standing up and stretching, Alucard stepped out and accepted the other towel Seras handed him while once again rubbing her eyes._

_Looking at her piteously, Alucard picked her up like he had the night he'd turned her. Seras yawned again and muttered a "Thank you, Master" and snuggled against him. Chuckling, Alucard had shadowed them back to her room. Laying her down on her coffin-bed Alucard had softly said, "We'll have to do this again sometime, Police Girl" before he left her room._

Catching himself smiling at the memory, Alucard quickly blocked the memory off. Spaquish! Narrowing his eyes, he looked up to see that his shadows had finished their job so _well_ that some had fallen on his head. Again. Calling his shadows back in, he thought of what he was going to do with his two left over paints and four left over walls. Slowly, an idea started to form. And slowly his smirk widened, threatening to tear his face in two.

Standing up and grabbing one of the remaining paint cans he opened it with his superhuman claws. Putting that one down, he did the same to the second one. When he was finished, he dipped all his shadows into the two paint cans. Dramatically positioning all of them towards the walls, he waited until they were all covered in paint and completely still. Then, he released them, letting them throw themselves at the walls.

Next his familiars and hellhounds came out. They too were covered in paint and allowed to do as they pleased in the huge cell as long as the paint landed on the walls.

Laughing maniacally, he sat and observed all the chaos his shadows, familiars, and hellhounds caused. By the time they were all called back into him, the paint was all used up and successfully on his walls. Surprisingly, not a drop had hit the floor. Looking around, Alucard lazily smirked, completely and utterly pleased with his masterpiece.

The black and red paint covered every square inch of wall space in smacks and slashes. Black and red paw prints, body smacks, and teeth gnashes. From any angle you looked at it, it looked as if a bloody battle had taken place within the confines of his room. Which was _almost _true.

Standing up, Alucard shadowed his way to the kitchen where he got himself a well-disserved blood packet. Though he never really liked them, he thought he disserved _something_ for his job-well-done and he already knew Seras and Pip had beat him to the always-pleasurable experience of pissing Integra off. So to the kitchen and fridge he went. Where he met up with Walter to whom he popped a blood pack in his face and snatched a few more and shadowed back to his room to enjoy the delightful mixture of blood and wine.

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Hello everyone.  
Okay, as I've explained at top, you and I have ShadowChild Of Death to thank for this new chapter.  
I hope you enjoyed it. Please review.  
Sorry 'bout the memory being all in italics.  
I know this chapter is a bit…darker(?) and maybe more serious then it should be compared to the other chapters and the memory is a bit fluffy (that was…an opps) but that's how it came out. So…Whatever.  
I also know that people might not be comfortable with the whole God thing with Seras but it called for an explanation. And so it got one.  
And also, the whole memory thing wasn't supposed to sexual in anyway at all. It was just one of their relaxing and bonding moments.


	10. Chapter 10

Hey people.  
So I'm sorry this chapter took forever.  
But hey! This story's finally done! yay!  
Well I hope you enjoy it.  
Please _**Read&Review**_!  
I worked my ass off on this story, not tomention, really thought about just not ever finishing it because I was so done with it & just wanted to star another story & start working on _Fertility Offering_ again.  
So thanks for your time.

-Liz.

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While Alucard was relishing in his finished task, Seras and Pip were weaving their way back home at top speed. This time though, Seras was in charge of the wheel and doing a far better job than Pip had earlier. More than likely because she was more concerned with trying to outrun their angry entourage, rather than running other drivers off the road. The midnight blue baby they were driving was doing it's very best and Integra would've been extremely happy had she been the one to drive it at these speeds, but as it were, the current passengers were far from happy. One in particular was scared for his life and vowing to himself never to agree to ride in this car again let alone be behind the wheel of a car with Seras in it or with her driving unless, of course, it was for work. Than he had no choice or Integra would eat him alive, as much as he would like that, he wouldn't like it in the sense in which I'm speaking of. He'd far rather be in this car with Seras than be berated by a very _very_ angry Integra, though the more he thought about it, the more he came to realize he was probably gonna get it anyways.

"Pip? Pip? _Pip? _PIP!"

"Huh, what?"

"Do you have a cell phone?"

"Yeah…"

"Do you have it on you?"

"Yeah…"

"Good. Call Walter."

"…Uhm…Okay…?"

"Don't ask questions. Just do it."

With that said, Pip took out his phone, to which Seras gave a peeved look. Looking through the contacts, Pip found the number he was looking for and pressed the green phone button that caused the dial tone to start ringing.

On the other side of the phone, all the way back at the Manor, Walter was just placing Integra's new cigar and platter of tea down when the first of his phone's ringing started. At first it was low and he didn't hear it. Integra glanced at him though, hearing the low ringing.

"Walter, is that your phone that's ringing?"

"Why, yes. Yes, it is," Walter said, pulling the devise out of his pocket and seeing the flashing lights. Seeing the name on the caller ID, he excused and removed himself to a far corner of the room. "Pip? Where the Hell are you two?!" Hearing the sound of Walter's agitated whispers, but not hearing the exact words of the conversation, Integra looked shrewdly at his turned back.

"Who is it, Walter?"

Receiving the cold shoulder, as Walter didn't answer her, Integra puffed once more on her cigar before putting it down and asking once more who was on the other side of the phone, to which she only received a waved hand for her attempts. As she started to stand, Pip was looking harried on his side of the phone. Seras was yelling at him to talk to Walter and giving demands, but her words just rushed over him. And Walter wasn't helping any by yelling at him too.

"Pip," Seras said after taking calming sigh, "Tell Walter we're going to be at the Manor within five minutes and the gates need to be open and ready to close as soon as this car is through them. Got it?"

Nodding his head, Pip relayed the message to Walter. His answer was a bit confusing at first though.

"Why? No, Integra. It's not a new mission for Alucard and Seras. No, wait! Integra, stop it! Stop-"

"Pip! Where the fuck are you and Seras with my fucking brand new car?!"

Hearing the raised voices, even Seras flinched. _Damn, that hurt my fucking ears. Sometimes she's tremendously scarier than Master._

Back in his room, Alucard head not only Seras' thoughts but also Integra's screaming. _Dear, dear Seras. What'd you do this time, my fledgling?_

_Nothing, Master. This time, I truly did nothing. I told Pip to call Walter because we need the gate to be ready for us to come in and close as soon as we pass them. But it seems Integra has gotten a hold of the phone. Poor Pip has her screaming in his ear. _Seras looked over at Pip to see him looking helplessly at the phone in his hand as if Integra was about to jump out of it and eat his face off. "Don't you dare hang up that phone, Pip. She really will eat your face off, and mine, when we get back."

_You took the blue one, huh?_

_Yeah. We didn't know. We needed a car, quick. As you know._

_Lucky. I've been wanting to try that one out. It's only been here a week. Well, I'll try to see what I can do, Police Girl._

_Oh, thank you, Master. Thank you._

_Don't thank me just yet. You very well know how my presence can either change a situation for the best or worst where Integra is concerned._

_Yes…_

Pulling out of Seras' head, Alucard drifted through his shadows easily into Integra's office, though he dared not to emerge from them. Seeing Integra's almost purple face, he decided to try to use his powerful aura to try to help. Casting the feeling of calm, rather than that of doom, into the room, Alucard watched as the tension left both Integra and Walter's shoulders and they relaxed. But it didn't last long. Before he knew it, Integra spun around and started her attack on him.

"ALUCARD! I swear to God, if you try that aura bullshit on me _one more time_ I'll stop feeding you for a year and have you bound outside in the sunlight everyday with silver chains and then put you in boiling acid! I swear to God, I will!"

Grimacing, Alucard left the room. He knew very well that what she threatened him with wouldn't kill him, but just the thought of being subject to that kind of treatment hurt. So he graciously removed himself from Integra's presence to the safer recesses of his own chamber, where he flopped unhappily onto his thrown.

_I'm sorry, Police Girl. I tried but...She threatened my life._

_Master…I thought you couldn't die?_

_I can't but just the thought of what she threatened me with hurts. Would you like to know what she said she'd do to me?_

_No. I think I'm okay. Thanks, Master._

Back on Seras' side, she heard Walter talking to Pip again, knowing that he'd finally gotten the phone back from the mouth-frothing Integra. When Pip nodded his head in the affirmative as if Walter could see him and then said a bland 'good' she knew she'd gotten what she'd wanted and so the 'princess' of the Hellsing Organization pushed the pedal to the metal and made Integra's baby 'Blue' hit full speed, thinking to herself that she'd have to come up with a way to pay Integra back the gas money. While back behind them, the monstrous, raving-mad crowd following them, though could no longer see them, still managed to follow them by the black skid marks on the ground and flying dust in the air.

Walter, back at the Manor, was as moving quickly as he could to get the gates open and be ready to close when Seras came flying through them. Integra on the other hand was left back in her office, still furious that her vampire and mercenary captains would steal her car. Also back at the Manor, Alucard had relaxed and was reclining rather lazily in his thrown, beginning to nod off at his lack of use and boredom.

Then, in the manner of NASCAR racing, the midnight blue, custom made, exotic sports car flew through the gates and Walter gave the signal to close them like the dropping of the checkered flag. As the gates closed behind them, the car slid to a stop, sending gravel flying, and Seras jumped out of the car heading straight for the main doors of the mansion as Pip once again fell out of the car, onto his knees, this time kissing the ground for his safe return home. By the time he'd stood up and then bent down to grab the keys Seras had thrown at him, she was already halfway through the mansion, zipping her way rather angrily towards the dungeons while Integra looked down imperiously at her and at the door, waiting for Pip to come in. And when he did, he was not met with the warmest of welcomes…

Meanwhile, at the gates, cars were arriving, and angry occupants of those vehicles were up against the fencing, grabbing at anything close enough, looking for a way to get in as they all yelled varying curses. Integra, seeing this spectacle, glared at Pip once more as he continued to try to get by her unnoticed before she jerked her head toward the debriefing room, instructing him to follow her as she rallied the troops. And as the last of the mercenaries and soldiers lined up in front of the mansion in their ready positions and the gates burst open from the mob's monstrous weight, Seras stopped in front of her master's room. Opening the door and heading briskly down, she stopped at the foot of the stairs to gape in open disgusted awe.

Alucard sat in his throne, completely oblivious to Seras' presence as he dozed while all around him, the room was in utter destruction…though, even to Seras, surprisingly not a drop of paint was on the floor. But what bothered her the most was that she was chased by a huge crazed mob to save her master's ass and what did he do with the three cans of paint he stole to start this whole deal? He used them to make a total mess on his walls and ceiling!

_Really? Really?! This is what he fucking did?! This this…What do you even call this?!_

At her angry, uncontrolled thoughts, Alucard woke up and rubbed his right eye and yawned before focusing his sleepy gaze, curiously on Seras while she stared at him, hands on her hips.

"Master…Really? Don't you think this is a little… oh I don't know. Much?"

"What's a little much?"

"This" – gesturing at the walls – "Master. Don't you think this…mess is a little mess."

"I don't think it looks like a mess…" Alucard responded, a bit dismayed.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Yeah. Well…" Alucard's 'well' was followed by an awkwardly long paused before he purred out: "Don't you think your clothes are a little much, Police Girl?" At which Seras crossed her arms over her chest and gave her master an open-mouthed, offended look after a small squeak escaped her mouth, and the story ended.

The End.

* * *

So as you can see, this is the end of _Paint_.  
As I already said, this is the last chapter (since I said that I was only gonna make one more and here it is.).  
I hope you all liked it. Even the ending.  
I'd been getting very bored and done with this story. It was very much so time to end it.  
I ended it with a clifty because I couldn't really come up with a way to end it and so I ended it in a way that left just enough room for you, yourselves to come up with your own individual endings.

Well please R&R.

-Liz.


End file.
